TEN TIPS FOR COMMUNICATION THAT CAN HELP YOU WHEN YOU’RE EXPERIENCING CONFLICT IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP
1. Learn to express your feelings and frustrations honestly, but without accusing or attacking the other person (Proverbs 11:9)
2. Choose words, expressions, and a tone of voice that are kin and gentle. Don’t use speech that could easily offend or spark an argument (Proverbs 15:1)
3. Don’t exaggerate, distort, or stretch the truth. Avoid extreme word like never and always (Ephesians 4:5)
4. Give actual and specific examples. If necessary, make notes before you communicate. Stay away from generalities.
5. Commit yourself to seeking solutions instead of airing your grievances. Getting even isn’t the goal-you want to get things resolved (Romans 12:17-21)
6. Listen to what the other person is saying, feeling, and needing. Try to detect his or her underlying concerns (James 1:19)
7. Refuse to indulge bitterness, anger, withdrawal, or argument. Though these emotions are normal, indulging them is sin. (Ephesians 4:26)
8. Don’t hesitate to acknowledge your own failure, and be quick to forgive the other person. Make sure you don’t hold a grudge (Luke 17:3-4)
9. Keep talking and asking questions until you are sure that you both understand clearly what the other is saying and feeling. Encourage each other as you press toward a solution (Romans 14:19)
10. Train your mouth and heart until you can say the right thing at the right time in the right way for the right reasons!
***from the book of boy meets girl by Joshua Harish
REMEMBER, CONFLICT IS NOT NECESSARILY A BAD THING. AND DON’T BE SURPRISED IF YOU EXPERIENCE IT. IT’S A SIGN THAT YOU’RE REALLY GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER. DON’T RUN FROM IT; INSTEAD, ASK GOD’S HELP TO HUMBLY AND LOVINGLY RESOLVE IT.
